Don’t cry in front of your boss when you’re frustrated because they don't understand (or care) how hard you worked on the last assignment.
Don’t raise your voice in a meeting after being the recipient of a disrespectful, shadey comment. And Lord prepare for thunder to strike if you walk around without smiling. (Haven't you heard? No one likes a "weird, depressed, stand-offish" looking bitch--ESPECIALLY if you're a woman of color).
Ladies why do our emotions have to be silenced while we are forced to still be productive?
Time waits for no one. Thangs still have to get done. Blah blah blah. I completely get and stand by both statements--but I’m not on that right now. On the flip side of the coin of resilience, there are days when the emotions are runneth over. I know I’m not the only one who feels defeated when you can no longer hide from the weight of feelings sitting on your chest.
When this happens, I'll attempt to distract myself by taking my work mode up a notch BUT, I don't stand a chance once my mind begins to wander too deep into the rivers of repressed sorrow.
...2 minutes, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, an hour rolls by and next thing I know, a whole day has come and gone; and I'm left wondering what have I accomplished other than being down and out? At that moment, it seems like my to-do list is SCREAMING at me. If this description sounds like you, then you're also familiar with frustration grabbing you by the neck because you did it again.
You let your emotions get the best of you and dictate the productivity of your day. (This has got to be one of my top five pet peeves. Does anyone know if this feeling goes away with age or is this something else we have to learn to balance in adulting? A sista gotsta know).
Sometimes a busy schedule isn’t enough. Sometimes the hotline bling isn’t enough. Sometimes, a hug from a family member or friend isn’t enough.
Recently, I watched Keke Palmer's latest interview on Power 105.1's Breakfast Club and I found myself agreeing, cracking up, and shouting internal "yaaasss"s throughout the entire conversation. (It's just what you do if you are a fan of the girl next door that is, Lauren Keyana Palmer).
(Video Timestamp: 5:21 - 6:04)
At the beginning of the interview, Keke speaks about the internal conflict we all face at some point in our lives--the "Am I Working Hard Enough?" syndrome. A disease that's created by societal expectations (aka Capitalism, the "Sleep When You're Dead" mentality, and the weird phenomenon that is, Social Media) and shapes how harsh we treat ourselves.
When I'm having an off day (or off days), this syndrome loves to grab me by my jugular and make me question all of my hard work and capabilities. If you're anything like me, the internal conversations get pretty intense:
Girl, if you don't get your black ass up and do something. Letting your emotions get in the way of you dreams, sis. Get up!
Chileee, what. are. you. doing. You left your 9-to-5 and you say you don't want to go backwards. Laying in the bed will not help. Stop being a loser and letting time pass you by. You have thangs to do!
Girl, you're cancelled.
Some of us may experience these moments once a month (this is me, particularly when Aunt Flow wants to pay a visit)
...while some of us have a longer, more complex battle with these unmotivated moments. Regardless of which side of the spectrum you reside, YOU ARE IN NEED OF SOME TLC!
Today, when I woke up, I felt defeated before I even checked my email. Hell, the night prior I felt defeated going to bed, drowning in my thoughts. BUT, I tried really hard to persist, get up, and be today's best version of myself. Again, if you have longer, more complicated episodes where you feel uninspired and discouraged, the below tips may not work and I would suggest speaking to a qualified therapist. (There's nothing wrong with seeking help or with you! Self-care is the best care.)
- Feed Yourself Positive Messages: This may seem like BS advice but like everything else, you have to try and give it your all. Although I ended up back in bed after my 6:20am call time, I listened to T.D. Jakes' "The Potter's Touch" podcast. Now I will admit, while Jakes' voice roared in the background, I was on social media. When I realized I was scrolling through the never-ending timelines of Instagram and Twitter instead of truly listening to the uplifting messages, I put my phone down, closed my eyes and the internalization began. Energy is real. What you feed your mind and body is significant.
- "Re-Start Your Day": Look, sometimes you just need a do-over. Sleep cures things--hunger, sadness, being plain ol' tired AND a wonky start to the day. Although getting extra Z's could be considered a temporary fix, you can't be productive if your mind isn't right and the best way to get right is rest, dahling.
- Get A New Sense Of Scenery: Typically, I work from the desk in my room but looking at the same things gets old--fast. You have to spice it up, even if it's only a little bit. Today, I moved my work station to my living room. You could also try getting dressed and working at your nearest cafe, library or Starb...(*sighs given recent racist events*) well... you get the idea.
- Find Ways To Entertain Yourself Throughout The Day: Whether it's funny podcasts, a lunch break with Youtube, daytime TV, a 30-minute workout or a book--allocate time to laugh and "escape" your to-do list. Sometimes, people are able to do this while they work on particular tasks that don't necessarily require a lot of attention. (This is me). Find what works for you and incorporate your "escape" techniques throughout the day.
- Keep Track Of What You Accomplished: There's something about seeing items crossed out on a list that can encourage you to keep going. Even if you only make it through three tasks on your to-do list, those are three things you couldn't see yourself doing at the beginning of the day. Celebrate your small milestones people!!
- Write About How You're Feeling: Welp, here we are. Sometimes articulating your emotions can help those muli-layered feelings make sense. Plus, writing can be therapeutic.
- Review Your Day: Go over what you've accomplished. Take your "successes" for what they are and pat yourself on the back for doing something when you felt like doing nothing.
- Know You Have Tomorrow: Tomorrow is another day. You did what you could today. Take a deep breath and know you have another day to try again.
Bonus tip, never forget...
Did I miss a tip that you found works for you? Adulting is hard so don't be stingy. Share it with me here.