Over the past week, I was blessed to be a keynote speaker at the 2nd Annual Pearls & Power Brunch (curated by Natalie Parkins, CEO of Be Epic Management), a moderator of the Marketing & Social Media Panel at the 1st R.E.A.D.I Music Conference (curated by YUP Network, Brea Simone, Connecticut's Office of The Arts, Tia Long and more), and attend some cool events--which, in total, allowed me to meet over 60 amazing folks.
As a result, over the past seven days, I've been showered with uplifting phrases like:
"You're an inspiration. Thank you for your words."
"Wow, at 23, you're killing it! Keep going. I wish I had your drive when I was your age."
"You know you're my motivation right?"
"I would love to collaborate with you."
It's been overwhelming and I'm blessed to have connected with each and every creative spirit.
However, despite the abundance of fuel droplets I've received over the past week, my fire has felt pretty low over the past 24 hours... last night into this morning, my ambitious engine has slowed down quite a bit.
All morning my to-do list dug its eyes into mine while I placed my hands on my keyboard but could not bring myself to type a thing. Feeling frustrated with myself, I decided to go back to sleep for another 30 minutes. I'm tired. I thought to myself.
30 minutes later I woke up, walked to my desk, took a seat, reviewed my to-do list and still felt unmotivated. My mind was clouded with irritation and I felt a burden of sadness on my chest. I knew why, I still know why. Maybe one day I'll share the story... but all you need to know is chileee, I was in my feelings and it sucks. So what did I do? I went back to sleep--with the intention of an hour. The devil is a lieeeee because that hour turned into two, then three. Around 2pm, I woke back up and finally felt somewhat ready to take on the day. (Mind you, I considered myself lucky, because there's been similar days that resulted in me laying in bed, watching the day pass me by.)
It's now 6:45pm and I still have TONS to do, but I've made some progress--which I'm learning to applaud during rough days like these. #ItsTheSmallThings
Why am I sharing this with you?
Being your own boss has its perks. You get to create your own schedule and on wonky days, you could just "try again tomorrow" or give yourself a few hours to put yourself in a better mood. But when depression is putting up a good fight, instead of feeling obligated to work because a boss will penalize you, YOU have to be the one to pull yourself out of the rut. If you don't, YOU'LL DIRECTLY face the consequences.
Knowing this, my unmotivated moments tend to be filled with a downward spiral of self-sabotage that goes a little something like this:
Girl, if you don't get your ass up and get to work who will?
Do you want to lose that client you worked so hard to get?
Get over yourself, and focus on what really matters!
Your emotions will not make you money. GET UP!
If you're crying about how broke you are in the next few weeks, you can only blame yourself.
You see where I'm going with this? This mentality on top of how crappy I already feel doesn't make for a helpful remedy. If anything, it just makes the chances of me switching a bad day into a productive one, less likely.
But that's the thing, every day will not be productive.
You will not feel like you can conquer the world every day--no matter, who has admired your accomplishments or not. And on these days, I encourage you to take a look at what's stopping your productivity:
Are you physically, mentally and/or emotionally tired?
Are you sad?
Are you stressed?
Do you feel inadequate to complete a task?
Whatever the reason may be, allow yourself to feel.
So often, our busy lives cause us to be on autopilot and we put ourselves on the back burner. We put what's bothering us behind us, because we "don't have time to deal with it." The truth is, if you don't "deal with" whatever keeps interrupting the functionality of your day, it'll always show up.
EVERYONE is battling something.
We are all trying to make the best life for ourselves while gaining understanding of our insecurities, trauma, pain and confusing/unresolved situations. Don't let people's highlight reels on social media make you feel like something is wrong with you. Don't beat yourself up for letting your emotions rob you of productive hours.
Remember, no one has this life thing figured out--regardless of who it is. So the next time you're questioning yourself on a rough day:
Stop Beating Yourself Up
Address Your Feelings
Take The Time You Need To Understand What's Going On
Know You Have Tomorrow
Be Patient With Yourself
I would love to hear if you resonated with this post and any ways you've managed to work through tough days. Let me know here.